在切著水果的時候，
突然想起了那段對話。
記不得是哪個季節，甚麼時間，
是誰。
你告訴我 人的恐懼來自於無知。
於是 為了克服自己的恐懼，
我決定前行 無論到哪裡
我的恐懼 都能因為少一點無知 而得到救贖，
心理的那一層
也能被填補一些 生命的甜美。
2013年3月31日 星期日
2013年3月29日 星期五
Song: Last Christmas by me and Wei Chen.
It's a song for Christmas gift to my friends who gave me the Christmas wishes.
Now I decide to upload the mp3 to here, so everyone can listen.
But for the video I will still keep it as a gift, so I'm not gonna put it again.
:)
Hope u guys enjoy!
Night!
The orange afternoon.
Can we just stay there at the moment for those smiles.
No worries no angers just smiles, laughing, laughing and laughing.
It was an orange afternoon.
It was u.
The knife, the cat, and the black jacket.
But they just become some part of broken memories in me.
Glad.
I had u
once.
2013年3月28日 星期四
My bro's wedding. March 24th.
 |
| My Dad and my Mom. They were watching the big ship and ppl around there. |
 |
| I suddenly feel something inside my mind, but is hard to describe. They are a lovely couple and I love them. |
 |
| I love u Mom. |
 |
| I have the similar smile like my Mom. I love it! :) |
 |
| The look of the day without my black jacket. |
Feel so much in my mind when I look at my parents.
I guess I'm still not ready to marry someone...
I know this will be hard for Howard, but... I'm just not ready yet, and I don't know when I will be ready.
Well... I just want someone who can actually accept everything from me.
And love the real me.
Still...I don't know yet.
Sigh...
2013年3月9日 星期六
Mind.
I'm 56.5kg today.
Have a really bad mood with things that I discussed with HW last night.
I don't want to seek for any love or something like respect those kind of shit in the place I live now.
It's just too harmful if I really care too much about it.
Take it easy I told myself.
Why bother or why should I care anyway.
It's a nice place actually, but because I ask too much, I don't feel so happy sometimes.
there's so much emotions in my mind right now.
I feel so tired and just want to let things drop from my shoulders.
And I guess this is the time to not care what I used to care about.
Life can be easier if u know to let go.
And this is what I need to learn now.
It's a new lesson, so who is with me?
I guess u will not be the first person who reply me like u used to be.
U don't have so much time to care.
U are who u are. I won't try to change u.
We have already grow so much from the past, but we cost too less time to understand the new
us. And don't know if we still love the new us. Maybe it's time to let us to recognize this and decide if we should move on. Some reality just hurt me so much.
Just like the money issue. Does money buy a respect?
Well... I always remember the first time when u discussed if Vivi could move in. I wasn't be told till I checked ur phone. And that made u want me to come back to Taiwan. First time u told me I had no right cause I had no money and I didn't pay for anything. Yes! I''m sorry I'm too poor to afford that much, and I shouldn't be there I should just came home and not to insisted how much I love u.
The second time that I feel this way is when u told me I'm the person live in other people's house that cost 0.
So I guess this is some kind of shit like that again, so I don't get my respect because I didn't pay any and I'm too stupid to treat myself part of the family and didn't recognize this truth.
Fuck! How stupid I am!
Do they even treat me as a real family or just me?
I'm too in to their family and forget the reality.
Sad.
I'm nothing.
That's the reason I can't speak out for myself.
When I try to ask things, I forget who I really am.
Money well......I guess I hate the role of money in my relationship.
That ruins everything and makes me feel people are so fucking ugly.
So what about if I pay back everything, then I can be myself?
Then I don't need to take these shit?
OK!
Then I will try to save the money and pay back all the tuition that I cost in the U.S
and get a school, move out and don't bother form not paying rent.
All I want to say is I'm sorry because these shit actually hurt so much.
I'm in my pain and I'm sorry that no one see this.
I'm sorry I want to leave this shit.
I'm sorry I refuse to take this pain anymore from every of u.
有時的心甘情願和自己的自以為 只是讓你看見了真實的醜陋。
Have a really bad mood with things that I discussed with HW last night.
I don't want to seek for any love or something like respect those kind of shit in the place I live now.
It's just too harmful if I really care too much about it.
Take it easy I told myself.
Why bother or why should I care anyway.
It's a nice place actually, but because I ask too much, I don't feel so happy sometimes.
there's so much emotions in my mind right now.
I feel so tired and just want to let things drop from my shoulders.
And I guess this is the time to not care what I used to care about.
Life can be easier if u know to let go.
And this is what I need to learn now.
It's a new lesson, so who is with me?
I guess u will not be the first person who reply me like u used to be.
U don't have so much time to care.
U are who u are. I won't try to change u.
We have already grow so much from the past, but we cost too less time to understand the new
us. And don't know if we still love the new us. Maybe it's time to let us to recognize this and decide if we should move on. Some reality just hurt me so much.
Just like the money issue. Does money buy a respect?
Well... I always remember the first time when u discussed if Vivi could move in. I wasn't be told till I checked ur phone. And that made u want me to come back to Taiwan. First time u told me I had no right cause I had no money and I didn't pay for anything. Yes! I''m sorry I'm too poor to afford that much, and I shouldn't be there I should just came home and not to insisted how much I love u.
The second time that I feel this way is when u told me I'm the person live in other people's house that cost 0.
So I guess this is some kind of shit like that again, so I don't get my respect because I didn't pay any and I'm too stupid to treat myself part of the family and didn't recognize this truth.
Fuck! How stupid I am!
Do they even treat me as a real family or just me?
I'm too in to their family and forget the reality.
Sad.
I'm nothing.
That's the reason I can't speak out for myself.
When I try to ask things, I forget who I really am.
Money well......I guess I hate the role of money in my relationship.
That ruins everything and makes me feel people are so fucking ugly.
So what about if I pay back everything, then I can be myself?
Then I don't need to take these shit?
OK!
Then I will try to save the money and pay back all the tuition that I cost in the U.S
and get a school, move out and don't bother form not paying rent.
All I want to say is I'm sorry because these shit actually hurt so much.
I'm in my pain and I'm sorry that no one see this.
I'm sorry I want to leave this shit.
I'm sorry I refuse to take this pain anymore from every of u.
有時的心甘情願和自己的自以為 只是讓你看見了真實的醜陋。
2013年3月3日 星期日
YA~~energy is back again!
Guess what! I just finished my exercise today bohu~
I feel so good!
So Howard went back to the army today, so I feel a little bit lonely here.
Didn't feel I want to study, so I just quit tonight haha. Anyway I will study harder tomorrow lol.
Gonna go shower and wake up earlier for a good breakfast. Keep fighting!
Night! :)
I feel so good!
So Howard went back to the army today, so I feel a little bit lonely here.
Didn't feel I want to study, so I just quit tonight haha. Anyway I will study harder tomorrow lol.
Gonna go shower and wake up earlier for a good breakfast. Keep fighting!
Night! :)
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